Dickhead NASCAR fans

For all you fans who threw shit at the race Sunday, please, feel free to die on my birthday. It took a lot of effort for a handful of people out of, what, 160,000, to turn what was a great day of fun for everyone else into something of a shitfest. Next time you feel the need to come to a sports venue that costs a ton to get into and people drive for hundreds — in some cases thousands — of miles to attend and mess it up, try staying home and dry humping your dog. That’ll be better for all of us.