Bad luck or really stupid?

Actually, given the continual dilution of the gene pool, probably both:

Couple dine and dash at upscale Minneapolis restaurant, but get caught at another

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — The owner of the high-end Temple Restaurant was fuming when a couple ran out on a $410 bill after spending five hours over several appetizers, two entrees of freshwater prawns, a steak and plenty of cocktails.

“I was thinking, I hope to God I see these people again,” said owner Thom Pham.

Three hours later, he got his wish.

He walked into Azia, another upscale eatery he owns, and found the pair finishing off some expensive drinks after a second dinner that included a rack of lamb.

“I thought, ’Oh my God, I can’t believe my wishes are so powerful,”’ Pham said.

When the couple tried to flee, Pham, a former judo instructor, chased Reginald Wilder into an alley, forced him to the ground and held him until police arrived. Lance Burrow was arrested a half block away.

According to a police report, Burrow was dressed as a woman and wearing a wig.

“They were clearly either very dedicated fans of Mr. Pham’s restaurants, or they were incredibly unlucky,” said Lt. Amelia Huffman, a spokeswoman for the Minneapolis Police Department.

“I call it ’instant karma,”’ said Pham.

Burrow, 20, is scheduled to make a court appearance July 25.

Wilder, 43, pleaded guilty and was required to make restitution of $705.86. In addition to a 17-month prison sentence, which was stayed, he also was ordered to serve 150 days in the Hennepin County workhouse. But he did not show up on July 2 as scheduled, and a warrant has been issued for his arrest.

George Bush eats boogers

It takes someone who really loves the taste of boogers to commute the sentence of a complete twat like Scooter Libby. It never ceases to amaze me how easy it is for a man who, as part of his oath of office, swore to uphold the laws of the land to ignore them.

For those of you who missed it, here is the latest from CNN on giving Libby a pass for his crimes .

Just another reason why Dick Cheney sucks

Very little explaining with this one here. It’s nice that the dickheads in DC think that the laws they swore to uphold in their oaths only apply to other people:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Vice President Dick Cheney’s office refused to cooperate with an agency that oversees classified documents, then tried to abolish the office when it challenged the actions, House oversight committee Chairman Henry Waxman said.

 

The National Archives’ Information Security Oversight Office is charged by presidential order with ensuring that classified information and documents are properly handled by executive branch agencies.

 

According to a letter from William Leonard, director of the oversight office, Cheney’s office argued it did not meet the definition of an executive branch agency and therefore was exempt.

 

Leonard also wrote that Cheney’s office suggested his agency be abolished under a revision of the presidential order now under consideration. (Watch how Cheney’s office defines its role Video)

 

“I question both the legality and wisdom of your actions,” Waxman, D-California, wrote in a letter Thursday to Cheney.

 

“Your decision to exempt your office from the president’s order is problematic because it could place national security at risk,” wrote Waxman, chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.

 

Cheney’s office would neither confirm nor deny it tried to abolish the Information Security Oversight Office.

 

“We are confident that we are conducting the office properly under the law,” said Megan McGinn, deputy press secretary for Cheney, when asked about the Waxman letter.

 

The executive order — intended to maintain the integrity of classified documents — was established by President Clinton and revised by President Bush in 2003.

 

The 2003 version directed the Information Security Oversight Office to oversee a program of education and supervision of classified document protection and maintenance. According to Waxman, the office has worked with different White House groups, including the National Security Council.

 

But when the National Archives’ office attempted to visit Cheney’s team in 2004, it was prevented from doing so by Cheney’s staff, Waxman wrote in the letter. The office had complied with the order in 2001 and 2002 but started refusing to do so in 2003.

 

In 2006, Leonard wrote to Cheney’s chief of staff, David Addington, to contest the office’s refusal to comply and was told that the vice president’s office “does not believe it is included in the definition of ‘agency’ as set forth in the order,” nor is it an “entity within the executive branch that comes into the possession of classified information,” according to letters released Thursday by Waxman’s committee.

 

In a letter to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales requesting intervention on the matter, Leonard questioned the rationale presented by the vice president’s office.

 

“If the [office of the vice president] is not considered an entity within the executive branch, I am concerned that it could impede access to classified information by the OVP staff, in that such access would be considered a disclosure outside the executive branch,” Leonard wrote in January.

 

Justice Department spokesman Erik Ablin said the department had received the letter and that matter is under review.

 

The vice president’s office has been criticized for being secretive before.

 

Last month, it was revealed that the administration was withholding visitor logs to Cheney’s residence. The administration says the secrecy is needed so Cheney can get candid advice from visitors.

 

In 2001, the office refused to divulge the names of energy executives who had consulted with Cheney on U.S. energy policy.

 

The decision was challenged and upheld by the courts. The U.S. Supreme Court referred the case back to a lower court.

The difference between real and make-believe

Why is it that some people have such a difficult time telling the difference between real and make-believe, between fictional fantasy and religion?

You got to be dumber than a box of hair to think that Harry Potter is actually a religion.

But, as one of my good friends once said, there is nothing so stupid that someone won’t do it … at least once. I am so glad this mindless tripe is clogging our court systems.

From the AP: A suburban Atlanta mother who believes the best-selling Harry Potter books promote witchcraft said Tuesday she may take her quest to ban the writings from her county schools to federal court after a state judge rejected her latest effort.

     Laura Mallory, who said two of her four children attend public schools in Gwinnett County, told reporters it may be time to rethink her arguments with the help of an attorney.

     ‘‘I maybe need a whole new case from the ground up,’’ said Mallory, who was not represented by an attorney at the hearing.

     Her comments came after Superior Court Judge Ronnie Batchelor said evidence previously presented by Gwinnett County school officials supported their decision not to remove the books from school libraries.

     Batchelor rejected Mallory’s appeal of the local school district’s decision, which was upheld earlier by the state Board of Education.

     Mallory has tried to ban the books from county school library shelves since August 2005, arguing that the popular fiction series is an attempt to indoctrinate children in witchcraft.

     School board members have said the books are good tools to encourage children to read and to spark creativity and imagination. In May 2006, the county denied Mallory’s request. In December, the state Board of Education upheld the county’s decision.

     J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books, published by London-based Bloomsbury Publishing PLC, tell stories of children with magic powers. They have been challenged numerous times since 2000, making them the most challenged texts of the 21st century, according to the American Library Association.

     At Tuesday’s hearing, Mallory argued in part that witchcraft is a religion practiced by some people and, therefore, the books should be banned because reading them in school violates the constitutional separation of church and state.

     ‘‘I have a dream that God will be welcomed back in our schools again,’’ Mallory said. ‘‘I think we need him.’’

     Mallory said she has testimony from children who have read the Harry Potter books and have thought about acting out spells described in the books.

     ‘‘They don’t want the Easter Bunny’s power,’’ Mallory said. ‘‘The children in our generation want Harry’s power, and they’re getting it.’’

     But Victoria Sweeny, an attorney representing county school officials, said the officials were well within their right not to remove the books from library shelves. She said the court is bound by that decision.

     ‘‘I’m not here to defend Harry Potter,’’ Sweeny said. ‘‘I’m here to defend the Gwinnett County Board of Education’s right to make lawful decisions.’’

 

 

Dickhead NASCAR fans

For all you fans who threw shit at the race Sunday, please, feel free to die on my birthday. It took a lot of effort for a handful of people out of, what, 160,000, to turn what was a great day of fun for everyone else into something of a shitfest. Next time you feel the need to come to a sports venue that costs a ton to get into and people drive for hundreds — in some cases thousands — of miles to attend and mess it up, try staying home and dry humping your dog. That’ll be better for all of us.

School officials to stupid to be school officials

Props to this teacher for standing behind her student who wrote a controversial editorial in a student publication.

Too bad the fascists at the school board seem to have forgotten the First Amendment guarantees freedom of the press. The courts in THIS country generally have extended that to student media. I home someone sues the bastards for violating the teacher’s civil rights — something she cannot legally sign away in an agreement with the school board.

Those folks need to move to a country where suppression of free speech and the press is encouraged, like, say, Iran or maybe China.

Anna Nicole and the media

Story moved this week about how much time and energy the national news media spent covering the Anna Nicole Smith death. It seemed to blame outlets like CNN for stirring up the frenzy. Some of that may be true — proud to say our paper here never ran it on the front and only a couple of stories on the inside — still if the world were not crawling with so many dipshits (those of you who can’t manage the whole talk-on-the-phone-while-driving thing), the broadcast newspimps would not have been able to sell it so well. Sooooo, for anyone out there who feels a compelling need to delve into every little facet of Anna Nicole’s life, who live for the next potential father to come forward, who think the paternity test actually matters to the world, please feel free to do THIS. (DISCLAIMER: Being somewhat facetious here, just in case anyone really thought about eating a bullet after reading this. Still, point made.)

The very definition of “fucktard”

This is about as screwed in the head as someone can get. I figure he is a walking hindbrain and little more. Seriously, even for the cork-on-the-fork crowd, how much of a chowderhead do you have to be to stand in a bucket of water and stick your tongue on a bug zapper? You have to really crank the volume during the electrocution part to enjoy it properly.

Actually, if you want a whole menu of people who don’t need to reproduce, just go to break.com and enter “roof” in the search engine.

Also, the tool central to this post has a great video of him sticking his hand in a bear trap. Those things take three people to cock and are lined with spikes. Just watching it drops my blood pressure 20 points.  Loop the video, I did. Should have done it with his head, the pussy.

It’s good to see other people understand stupidity …

… It’s sad to see them pay for it so dearly. Damn.

“This happened about the same time the press learned that detainees were being abused in the prison east of Fallujah. Goody. What did Hajji learn that week? First, the U.S. can be defeated. Second, if he surrenders, he will be stripped naked, have electrodes attached to his testicles and (be) made to stand in a tub of water. Fucking brilliant. Where is my goddamned propeller hat? I need to get into the spirit of things.”

–Letter home from Army 2^nd Lt. Brian Smith dated May 11, 2004, as quoted in last week’s edition of Newsweek. Smith was killed in action in Al Habbaniyah less than two months later. He was 30 years old.

I recommend everyone get this issue of Newsweek. Absolutely worth the read.

Way to stupid for the classroom

We pay a lot for our kids’ educations, and we expect better. But some teachers simply don’t have the right stuff for the job … like a working forebrain. This teacher thought it would be a great idea to shut kids up by clothspinning their mouths shut. If that were my kid, I would now either own the school system, have the teacher as my permanent court-ordered toenail chewer or have stapled her head to the wall. Either way, there would have been some satisfaction. As it is, sounds like she will have to find other work, like as a mop bucket.